Getting Older

(I stole this post from Gummy on GummyVision.  It's ok, I told her I was going to steal it and she was all like, "whatever?!  Think up your own ideas?"  I think that was consent so we'll go with that.)

I noticed a bunch of stuff about myself (physically) which are related to getting older. 

The face shrinks and sinks in all the weird places:
I guess it's my face losing fat and collagen in the skin, but now my eyes are sunken and my cheeks are looking gaunt.  On a positive note, I can retain an extra 15 lbs or so on my body to maintain some youthful plumpness in my face.  (heard the saying, you face or your ass?  I choose face)  And oddly, which alarms me and touches me in a very deep way, I look more like my dad as I grow older.

Skin becomes dull (and then the zits):
I came out of my teenaged years relatively unscathed by acne, but noticed at some point in my thirties how sadly blah and dull my skin had gradually become.  I'm grateful for medical science and the prescription pad of my dermatologist for my tretinoin product (low concentration Retin-A micro, for the win!).  But now, I get occasional zits.  Oh hell.  I guess it's the flux of hormones and stuff.  Also, I don't think injectibles, filler or plastic surgery is in my future, but I also refuse to rule them out.  I don't mind help.  Makeup is help, too.

Diminishing mental acuity:
I forget stuff all the time.  Of course I can remember all the telephone numbers going back to when I was a small child (mom's work, home, bff's house, my house, my house all the moves, etc etc), lots of 80's trivia facts but my short term memory seems a little iffy.  I noticed this more since having children... wha...?  What are we talking about?

Going grey & hair weirdness:
I really admire a women with incredible head of well-coiffed silver hair.  So elegant.  But I'm not ready yet!  I'm seeing bright silvery hair at my temples and sparse distribution all over my head.  I'm obviously almost all black haired, but there's more white ones now.  Texture of my hair has gotten randomly crinkly!  And I don't have as much hair as I used to!

Ongoing and intensifying internal conflict about balance:
Where I used to reign as princess & queen of my domain, now I need to make sure my priorities also place my marriage and my children equally at the top.  Something about having this blog helps me keep myself as queen in some aspects, if that makes sense.  Whereby I was very career driven, pulling in late nights every night in the office, endless conference calls with folks in different time zones, I've become more something else altogether.  I don't have the right word to describe it, but it doesn't have the focus where nothing else used to matter.

Shifting sense of beauty:
Having grown up in the US, with formative years learning American beauty ideals I never grew up thinking about Asian beauty.  I grew up way before K-pop, or K-dramas were a cultural touchstone.  I grew up thinking beautiful women looked like Charlie's Angels women (the original t.v. show).  I have a much greater appreciation of Asian beauty now, despite my most Americanized values about lots of other things.  I hope my children grows up appreciating their uniquely ethnic and beautiful faces as much I appreciate theirs.

Speaking of Asian things:
Comfort and home is Korean food.  Every trip or vacation abroad or away from Korean food brings about a level of anxiety that builds into frenetic hunger.  My husband and I have resorted to packing instant noodles to help stave off this uncomfortable state.  My husband knows me and I know him.

Uh, yay 40?:

Panic panic.

My blog is sort of an internal monologue which appears to operate at an 4th grade reading level with the maturity of a 13 year old.  I appreciate all the poop jokes, lolcats and all internet cat memes.  I should be grown up but I don't feel grown up at all.  Each day feels like that moment of being released from the hospital after giving birth with the incredulous thought: they let me walk out of the hospital with a little helpless human being to take care of?!  When do I start feeling my age?

all the low-resolution to my advantage
Since this is a beauty blog, I'm wearing all sorts of makeup in the picture: RBR e/s duo in A is major FIS minor, Edward Bess Bed of Roses Blush and Suqqu Creamy Glow lipstick in 08 Keshiaka plus all sorts of poor resolution and soft focus.

How do you evolve with your age?  I'd love to hear how you became you.

Eye Primers

Rebuys: Eve Lom and Shu Uemura