What's the Point?

I have to admit that doing a complete cold turkey on buying makeup has made my life so much less burdensome.  Knowing my answer is "NO!" makes me look at all the pretty things on the blogs and media sites and not feel compelled to make plans to buy.  Every once in a while, I still get dollar off or percentage off email offers and I make a list and start justifying in my mind why it's okay to buy (refills of thing finished, my hg something or another).  But going through that exercise is kind of a brain drain.  It's been easier to close the Internet window and just say "NO!"  I feel a bit like taking a page from Nancy Reagan and her very simple Just Say No anti-drug campaign.
Meanwhile, I won't be ridiculous.  It's only been 18 days, which is no time at all.  And, because I placed a pre-order prior to that, I had been inside the Bergdorf beauty department to pick up skincare during that time, AND I picked up a few things at Sephora and Nordstrom for friends.  There's something to be said about buying makeup for friends and not for oneself; it has an effect to satisfy without the actual cost of ownership.

Sorry to bungle up your campaign with such little matters, Nancy, but buying boatloads of makeup is very addictive.  Deeply ingrained consumption needs are very intoxicating, too.

With some seriousness, I think maintaining this blog is making me a more neurotic person. Maybe I have the neurotic New Yorker thing going on anyway, but I'm questioning the sanity of keeping this little project going.  Some things happen which DO make me bat an eyelash and I don't like it.  For instance: why do my Bloglovin follower numbers go up and then down?  why do people follow me on Twitter and then unfollow me?  (Ok, maybe it's ok when the meme cats unfollow me)  Why do I care when there are comments or no comments?  And spending so much time staring at my makeup drawer mired with indecision about pairing a lipstick to eye to blush to finish of foundation can not be normal right?  Why am I spending so much time staring at my face and taking pictures of it?  It feels very self involved -- in a bad way.

I had a good bit of misgivings about putting up photos of my face initially.  But I thought showing a product in use is a good way to showcase a product.  I still think it is, but then somehow feel like my face is taking over.  And good grief, I don't need my face out there anywhere!  I still have lingering fears that my face will show up with a Google search and I'll get a phone call from a friend or a relative (or work colleague!) and they learn just how narcissistic I am.  So why put up my face because it causes me neurotic anxiety?

I blog in secret.  No one in my real life knows my blogging hobby.  Isn't that weird?  What consumes such a big part of my time and waking free moment is a secret.  That's weird to me and I have no real desire to expose my hobby to real people because there IS something narcissistic about it.  Isn't there?  (Meanwhile, Mr. Belly knows of this "blog" thing I do, but I don't think realizes to the level I am involved.  I think he knows it be a very abstract construct and here I am "blogging blogging blogging")

Meanwhile, I hope not to offend other bloggers out there, because I am sure my reasons, and my narcissism is not why drives them.  And there is nothing intrinsically wrong with makeup.  None at all.  Most people value their appearance and many work to enhance it.  My issue seems to be veering a bit into an area called "Over the Top."  Hobbies are hobbies until they start to take over.  Me, I feel completely, overly saturated.

Do you know my one year blog anniversary is coming up?  After 200+ posts later there's nothing really more to explore other than putting up new purchases, new "looks" and new series on stuff.  Kind of doesn't excite me.  Originally, I was planning on re-doing the blog and making it look a little nicer for the anniversary.  Maybe doing another giveaway to celebrate, but now I'm not all that into it.

I still love beauty products.  Probably much as I ever did, but what's the point of having a blog if I just do just regular ol' stuff and it also causes me some grief?  There's tons of positives about having the blog.  Tons and tons and tons.  But the negatives seem to offset a good chunk of it.  I'm at the figurative crossroads.  One way leads to consistent blogging & perhaps purchases in the future the Other way leads to my regular life.

This whole beauty blogging thing is just a small part of the larger thoughts I'm having about my life in general.  I don't know where this will lead, but at least some more posts on all the Japanese pretties in the near future. 

Gack!  That's a lot of words dedicated to belly gazing on such a dinky topic.  Ciao, everyone.  Hope your weekend was fantastic.  I love autumn!

Cocktail #3 Stormy Seas - Shiseido Eye Color Bar

Addiction Ready to Wear Eye Palette in Departure